Today, I logged into my work computer and I came across this touching story, the story of a UCSF fellow donating one of his kidneys to his ailing wife, and it hit close to home.
For over a year, Christopher has been hospital-free. Jason and I wake up each day, taking our own “medically necessary” vitals on Chris: forehead – cool to the touch; eyes – happy; appetite – verocious; attitude – CHRISTOPHER. Kiss on the forehead, high five, and celebrate another day without the thought of squeezing in a hospital visit.
Our closest interaction with anything medical-related has been Chris’ monthly blood draws and even those are normal, routine tasks.
He is the brave little kid waiting in the adult patient room. The phlebotomist gives me the “look” as if I should have taken him upstairs to the pediatric phlebotomist who specializes with crying babies and figgity toddlers, but I assure her that Chris will be her best patient ever. And as always, he is. Without a flinch, he gets his blood drawn and we’re out the door in 2 minutes flat – one minute is him waiting for his graham cracker that he never eats but sometimes takes for twin brother, Evan.
Then today, I read this article and it yanks me off of my cloud 9: “…transplant is a treatment, not a cure.” In this breath, I thank God for bringing us this far in Chris’ transplant journey but in the same sentence, I ask God to make it last forever.
Please don’t let Christopher relapse. Please don’t let Christopher get poked and prodded at the hospital. Please don’t let Christopher ever lose the will to fight. Please don’t let ME ever lose my son.
I’m grateful for the path we’ve taken so far and the many people (doctors, nurses, family, and friends) who’ve taken care of us physically and emotionally.
But, the future is unknown and all I can do is live in the moments of now.
